July 09, 2018

Regret were never this good

I remember when I was left by the man whom I thought was the love of my life. The pain and sadness was so real. Seriously!

As time goes by, the longing for someone you love keeps on fading. I still love and care for him though.  Even until now. But it just that.

When I think back, it was never me who lost something. He never want me at the first place. So, he lost the person who care for him enough to accept every little shitty thing he did.

He was just a boy who’s not ready for a real commitment.

To say that I’m happy that he’s with someone else now was such a lie. I’m not happy. But when I think back who he choose to be with, fuck yes I’m happy. A kid. He choose a kid with a very good features for him to brag about to other people. It’s like a trophy I guess.

It’s sad. Really.

Because deep down I feel that he is a good man. But he choose not to be that version of himself. So who am I to condemn.

It was a fucking shitty experience with him. But Allah is Great. I believed we all deserved the best for us. No, I’m not holding a grudge. Never once.

It just an experience I shouldn’t be regret anymore. Because I’m more than enough for him to handle 😊

September 13, 2017

How I become me

What I gain during my lost?

Myself


Dan aku bersyukur untuk setiap kejadian Tuhan


September 07, 2017

Seeing you now

You happy?
With her?
The one you love?

I'm glad.

-greatest lie ever

September 05, 2017

Van der Wjick

Zainuddin.

Marah dan sedih ketika dulu aku membaca kisah kau.
Ketika jiwa aku masih tiada berat antara kau dan Hayati.

Tapi sekarang, marah aku lebih kepada Hayati dan sedih aku buat kau.
Kerana aku juga rasa sakit ditinggalkan.

Ditinggalkan..

Tapi Zainuddin bezanya kita,
Aku jauh tercampak tanpa rasa sedikit belas darinya.
Kau..
Dia datang tapi engkau lebihkan dendam walaupun dirayu.
Yang akhirnya..
Kau ditinggalkan selamanya.

Cinta dan dendam.

Aku masih pilih cinta.
Kerana aku tahu sakitnya terluka.
Benci dan sakit ini dibiar padam.
Supaya aku sentiasa tenteram.

Aku bukan kau Zainuddin, walau kita sama ditinggalkan.


April 25, 2016

February 24, 2016

.

I don't expect anything bigger than this
Because I know you deserve someone better
But I'm gonna cherish 'us' as much as I can
As much as I'm going to fall for you

Kalaulah awak tahu....

March 26, 2015

remembering you



I may not be the best daughter during your lifetime, but I'll struggle to be better Abah. 

Remembering you is hard that make my heart still hurt.

I Love You Abah. 

May Allah forgive you and all of our sins. May HE grants you Jannah for every deeds that you do.

Thanks to you and Mak for raising me for who I am today. 

27.03.2010


April 18, 2014

yang terakhirnya

Assalamualaikum


It's been a very long time. A lot has happen. Like a lot...

My pray goes to whoever who suffered the lost of their love one.

---I lost someone I love too. Not long ago. 


Manusia.
Datang dan pergi.
Walau apa pun usia.
Semuanya kehendak Illahi.
Jadi jangan dipersia.
Kita tidak tahu apa yang menanti.
DIAlah pemegang rahsia.
Sampai mati nanti.

Usia tidak sesekali mematangkan manusia melainkan pengalaman yang melanda dirinya. Aku juga punya segala pengalaman dan peristiwa yang menjadi beban di dada. Setiap darinya adalah pengajaran untuk aku jadi lebih kuat dan terus kuat. Agar aku lebih bijak menilai baik buruk manusia, agar aku lebih peka dengan Qada' dan Qadar dariNYA. 

Tapi aku manusia. Kerapkali aku lupa segala yang melanda. Mengikut kepada bisikan-biskan jahat yang kerapkali jatuhkan aku.

Dan di atas setiap jatuhnya aku, KAU tak pernah lupa ingatkan aku akan kemanisan dalam jalanMU. Aku lemah. Namanya manusia, nafsu memuncak, dilupa segala. 

Aku takut. Takut andai tidak diberi peluang lagi. Satu yang aku pinta, istiqomah. Ini sahaja Ya Allah. Usia aku semakin meningkat. Pengakhiranku semakin dekat. 

Kerna, Mati itu pasti!