How did you spent your day? Me? Ahhh, so unproductive. Everyday, every hour, every minute. every second. What a waste. I didn't know that I take a long time to figure out myself. But still, no answer. Seems like someone who's suffering from "what to do in her life". That's pathetic. But now I try to do something in my boring day which is learning. Learn what? Well, I'm going to improve my vocab. Grammar?? hehe, a bit hard but I'll try. And most importantly is, I am starting to exercise everyday, hewhewhew. I'm feeling healthy y'all.
While staying at home doing nothing, sometimes I'm wondering why my mom don't nag about me not working yet. I mean, every month she's giving pocket money even I'm already finished my study. There's a lot of question in my mind. You know, we didn't know what's in people heart. I think my mom doesn't want me to work far from her, that's why I didn't get job yet or I'm just missing my opportunity. To mom, don't worry I will not work far from you, just I need to earn money, I can't just asking money from you anymore. Talking bout me missing my own chance is the saddest thing right now, I'm the one who screwed me. dushhhh!!!!!!!
Early this month I've got a missed call. Office or home, but who's calling using a home line nowadays except for my aunt. So I think maybe they will contact me back again. Unfortunately it was me who didn't realize they leave a voice mail. What suck is, I discovered this thing last night. Bravo aisyah.
"When Allah makes things really difficult, it is to remind who is in charge so that you turn back to Him.When He make's things easy, make sure you turn to thank Him. Any good that you do is a favour from Him and not upon Him, so thank Him for it."
Okay forget bout it, feels like an idiot. This evening I went to a coffee shop and enjoy my sadness with medium cup of Americano (favorites all time bebeh) and this coffee shop girl, I don't know I just like the way she speaks. Full of confidence yet so friendly. She's cute too. Don't get me wrong, I don't know just I wanna be like her. How she manage to speak with customers and didn't annoyed them. Or I should stop trying to be others and just being me, maybe it works.
Whatever it is, I'm thankful that my family still support me even though I'm nothing but trouble them all the time. I didn't tell my mom about that missed call. Let by gone be by gone then, just move. There's another opportunity and I believe in Allah swt to guide me.
"What is family? They were the people who claimed you. In good, in bad, in parts or in whole. They were the one who showed up, who stayed in there regardless. It wasn't just about blood relations or shared chromosomes, but somethings wider, bigger. We had many families overtime. Our family of origin, the family we created and the groups you moved through while all this was happening: friens, lovers, sometimes even strangers. None of them perfect and we couldn't expect them to be. You can't make any of one person in your world. The trick was to take what each could give you and build your world from it."