November 22, 2011

second chance


How did you spent your day? Me? Ahhh, so unproductive. Everyday, every hour, every minute. every second. What a waste. I didn't know that I take a long time to figure out myself. But still, no answer. Seems like someone who's suffering from "what to do in her life". That's pathetic. But now I try to do something in my boring day which is learning. Learn what? Well, I'm going to improve my vocab. Grammar?? hehe, a bit hard but I'll try. And most importantly is, I am starting to exercise everyday, hewhewhew. I'm feeling healthy y'all.

While staying at home doing nothing, sometimes I'm wondering why my mom don't nag about me not working yet. I mean, every month she's giving pocket money even I'm already finished my study. There's a lot of question in my mind. You know, we didn't know what's in people heart. I think my mom doesn't want me to work far from her, that's why I didn't get job yet or I'm just missing my opportunity. To mom, don't worry I will not work far from you, just I need to earn money, I can't just asking money from you anymore. Talking bout me missing my own chance is the saddest thing right now, I'm the one who screwed me. dushhhh!!!!!!!

Early this month I've got a missed call. Office or home, but who's calling using a home line nowadays except for my aunt. So I think maybe they will contact me back again. Unfortunately it was me who didn't realize they leave a voice mail. What suck is, I discovered this thing last night. Bravo aisyah.

"When Allah makes things really difficult, it is to remind who is in charge so that you turn back to Him.When He make's things easy, make sure you turn to thank Him. Any good that you do is a favour from Him and not upon Him, so thank Him for it."
-Navaid Aziz-

Okay forget bout it, feels like an idiot. This evening I went to a coffee shop and enjoy my sadness with medium cup of Americano (favorites all time bebeh) and this coffee shop girl, I don't know I just like the way she speaks. Full of confidence yet so friendly. She's cute too. Don't get me wrong, I don't know just I wanna be like her. How she manage to speak with customers and didn't annoyed them. Or I should stop trying to be others and just being me, maybe it works.

Whatever it is, I'm thankful that my family still support me even though I'm nothing but trouble them all the time. I didn't tell my mom about that missed call. Let by gone be by gone then, just move. There's another opportunity and I believe in Allah swt to guide me.

"What is family? They were the people who claimed you. In good, in bad, in parts or in whole. They were the one who showed up, who stayed in there regardless. It wasn't just about blood relations or shared chromosomes, but somethings wider, bigger. We had many families overtime. Our family of origin, the family we created and the groups you moved through while all this was happening: friens, lovers, sometimes even strangers. None of them perfect and we couldn't expect them to be. You can't make any of one person in your world. The trick was to take what each could give you and build your world from it."
-Sarah Dessen-

November 12, 2011

these boys


Dari hari Rabu main dengan budak-budak ni, bila diorang balik boring dah la. Another weekend yang sangat sunyi, tsk3. Never mind, i'll find something to do then. Back to them, they are my brother kids. Sangat rapat sebab setiap minggu balik, just lately jarang balik sebab my sister in law tak berapa sihat. Best kalau tak buat perangai, hehehe. Abang putih gebu macam donut sebab makan nasi dengan kuah sup semata-mata. Adik asalkan kari, meme jalan la die. Satu je sama, suka tea O.

Kalau main game sampai tak mau makan, last-last tak boleh main. Si abang akan amik my phone and main senyap-senyap. Adik pulak akan datang cakap kuat-kuat "HAA, ABG BUAT APA TU HAA. MAIN GAME LA TU". Aku nak gelak sebab last-last dia pulak mintak nak main. Alahai, sunyi pulak rumah yang dah meme sunyi ni. Tadi sempat keluar ke bank dengan Fyna. Kami minum dekat satu cafe yang sangatlah comel, lepas ni boleh lepak minum situ pulak sebab orang tak ramai sangat. Padahal dah keluar dah hari sebelumnya tu just tak perasan cafe tu. Actually, selama ni memang tak pernah perasan langsung yang cafe tu wujud. Apa-apa lah.

Adik ni suka nak hensem sikit, tapi bila akak aku nak amik gamba die tak nak. Bila dah semua balik, die cakap kalau nak amik gambar kena senyum macam kat atas tu. Aku pun, okay amik je lah. Kalau tak pun diorang akan amik gambar sendiri. Kids =_='

p/s: My sis akan final exam tak lama lagi, gud luck. 

November 10, 2011



Learning. What is learning? Is it essential for us to learn? Is it a need or a term to get to the higher place? Why do people that didn't learn to his highest still manage to go to the higher level? The question is not about WHY. It's about YOU, yourself. Because everything is always about yourself. The choice between to learn or to gain experience, still the same. Why? Because to gain experience, you still need to learn. Just in a different way. The difference is the experience you gain. This is the thing that make you special. We always want to avoid learning. But somehow, no matter how hard we avoid it, at the end of the day we still need to learn. Learn the hardship, you get better in the future. InsyaAllah.

"Bila kamu tak tahan lelahnya belajar,
maka kamu akan menanggung peritnya kebodohan."
-Imam Syafie-

your pain my pain too

I'm touch, but what movie is this?

gif from my tumblr

November 09, 2011

my reality


credit from tumblr

Realiti? Susah macam mana pun kena hadapi jugak, dah nama pun realiti. So it is real. Like really REAL. The difference between people is how their reality and the way they handle it. Mine? Syukur ya Allah dengan nikmat-nikmat yang ada kalau dibandingkan dengan orang yang ditimpa musibah di luar sana. Cuma sifat manusia ni tak pernah puas dengan apa yang ada. It's not that aku tak puas dengan semua yang aku ada, cuma kalau boleh aku nak semua datang dari usaha sendiri. Tak payah pening kepala, masalah aku sekarang aku ni menganggur. I want a job. So that I don't have to ask my mom's money, my sis to bought a bag for me and pay for my hair treatment, my brother to pay for my accident. It just don't feels right. Otak tak berjalan kalau hari-hari macam ni.

credit from tumblr

I just hope that my brain does not 'berkarat' sampai semua benda dah lupa. Everyday check my mails, open my Fb to know what my friends up to, reads a lot of quote, listen to the same song, watching Tv, eat, buang sampah, go to bank, pay a lot of bills (at least I know I berguna), etc. People told me that my time will come, just it takes time. I know good things will come, but don't you think i'm wasting my time just wait and keeps waiting? On the other side, others gain a lot of thing and i'm just nothing. Poor me.

credit from tumblr

"even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there"
-Will Rogers-

everyday I learn new things but I need more. Good luck aisyah :)

picture from my tumblr