January 01, 2013


“The most important thing in all human relationships is conversation, but people don’t talk anymore, they don’t sit down to talk and listen. They go to the theater, the cinema, watch television, listen to the radio, read books, but they almost never talk. If we want to change the world, we have to go back to a time when warriors would gather around a fire and tell stories.”
Paulo Coelho 

Conversation makes people listen. By listening, you'll understand how important it is to care for someone, to listen to them, to make them believe that somebody cares. I like listening to people, but there are times when I also in need of someone listening to me. Not all people happy all the time. That's not mental health, that's crap. Sometimes in the middle of conversation you got into a fight, not a real fight but just a fight. Just not to make it worst, left it behind in the next day because that's the best. Why do you bother to continue hurting each other? Conversation is a subjective matter. We converse to get along, not to drift apart.

I must admit that I'm not a good talker, but I am a good listener. Just tell me everything. Even though sometimes I can't help, but at least I can listen. I'm not a therapist, but I promise that I will listen and I will care. If I care about someone, I care a lot. This is the thing that make me sad cause people will take me for granted. I need a light and I will find it. I promise this!

bye 2012, hi 2013


What happened in 2012 will remains there forever. My 2013 will start with an empty jar, then I will fill the jar with  whatever that happens to me during this year and yeah, I'm looking forward to it. 

Looking back through 2012, a lot has happened. Like a lot and I had fulfill half of my 2012 wishlist, Alhamdulillah. Well, I never expected too much and I was so glad that I at least made half from it. 2012 starts when I still a jobless person ever. My sis engaged and I know at that moment, I gonna lose someone closed to me but never really did, hehe. 

Then I was shocked of getting into uni furthering my degree. This is what I expected the less. No, I never expect this. During the time before registering there, I was like in a dream where I think everything was bullshit. But I get through it, and I went there. ALONE! And everything happens to be like a new life, new thing and new me. Yeah, I must admit that I'm not being me at all. During the first half of 2012, I was dealing with myself. Struggle to get along with what actually happened in my life, getting to know new people, adapting myself in a new place which I hate and the worst is that I lost someone in the family.

But hey, storms doesn't always happen because there will be rainbow after it and a light that lighten up my life. I've got one niece and one nephew. Also, one brother-in-law and one sister-in-law. My life was so perfect if it is about family. I've met new people in this 2012, some are like shit but some were so awesome. I end up my long term feeling to someone. It feels so great that I can't even explain the greatness of it. I've graduated, I mean at last I had my convocation. 

In the second half of 2012, I spent a lot of time with families. Most of it, with my sisters. Friends? There were some of them that never left me. I don't have to say who is it. But the thing that makes me really happy was that I got to know somebody who at first was nobody to me but then everything changed and he became someone.

I didn't go through a lot with him, but everything that we've been through was so precious and I really like it. Maybe because I was so comfortable with him and we were so click cause I can talk about everything with him. But then, not all story ends with a happy things right. I don't know when it goes wrong, but we're getting apart and I was not likely to care at all. But deep inside I was feeling so lost and I must say I miss the old us, and this is not good.

Whatever it is, I went to a lot of places during this year, Langkawi Island, Cameron Highland, Genting Highland, Aquaria, my sweet escape to Perak and many more that I couldn't remember. Things about going to a new place, you gotta met somebody that can makes you think about everything that happens in your life. The good and the bad. This actually taught you a lot and this what makes you grow to become someone stronger and happier than before.

I always feel that I'm all alone and no one cares about me. But then I remember that Allah is with me. All the time. I was so into this world sometimes I became so careless and forgot about what I should truly care and love.

Mungkin memang kadang kita dibiarkan Tuhan untuk berjalan sendirian, 
hanya untuk meyakinkan bahwa Dia-lah satu-satunya yang tidak pernah meninggalkan kita.

Seiring masa, kamu akan memahami, bahawa terkabulnya semua harapan dan keinginan itu, 

Tidak akan sentiasa membuat kamu bahagia.
Tidak semua bahagia datang dengan terkabulnya impian,
kerana terkadang,
dari luka dan duka,
Tuhan menitipkannya.